Giving and taking courage

It starts with being brave.

Yesterday I took Nightingale (my 6-year-old granddaughter) to the dentist.

She needed to have a filling put in. She was a bit concerned about it but she was feeling brave.

She trusted it wasn't going to hurt and that it was important.

When was the last time you had to muster up some courage?

Maybe this morning or yesterday?

I say that with all seriousness because there are so many triggers in our daily life that can bring up fear and anxiety.

Here's a short list of some of the most common causes of fear and anxiety:

• Stressful life situations (dentist, relationship problems, financial difficulties, etc.)
• Health issues or concerns ("there's that pain in my <insert body part> again")
• Uncertainty about the future (in-between jobs, or need to move?)
• Social or performance-related pressures (work deadlines, big presentations, interviews)
• Phobias or specific fears
• Past experiences of failure or rejection
• Traumatic experiences or events
• Chemical imbalance in the brain

The list could go on but most of us are facing one or more of these triggers every day.

I have a variety of tools to help me depending on the situation and what I'm feeling, but I rarely let fear or anxiety hold me back anymore. I know that when I walk through the fear of whatever I need to face, that I'll be okay on the other side. Nightingale instinctively knew this too.

Most of us do this without even thinking.

However, there are many individuals out there in the world who have a really hard time with this. They are fighting a difficult battle and they put on a brave face and go out and conquer their fears on a daily basis.

I'm absolutely amazed when I hear some of my clients stories about what they have been through and how they find the strength and courage to keep going.

Being in recovery from addiction also allows me to hear many stories of pain and triumph in AA meeting rooms of how people have overcome this life-threatening disease and go on to lead well-balanced lives. All while dealing with and cleaning up the wreckage of their past.

Each one of you reading this, just by nature of being human, have come through so much to get where you are. And some of you may be in a place of uncertainty regarding the future prompting you to have courage and faith.

Let's sum it up.

There are 2 points I want to make regarding all this rambling about walking through fear and having courage:

• You have absolutely no idea what someone has been through this morning or this week or this year or this lifetime. So when it comes to someone you barely know (or maybe you even think you know them well), who is lashing out, checking out, or not having a lot of courage on any given day, cut'em some slack. Hold back on your judgement. We are ALL doing the best we can with what we've got.
• You have been through a lot in life and your experience of getting through a difficult time, could most likely help someone else who might be going through the same thing. If you think someone is going through a traumatic event or feeling stress and pressure, they may be too afraid to reach out. But maybe it could be you who has the strength to reach out to them. Then maybe you could share some of who you are and what you've been through so that you can help them get through it. Your experience and strength can give someone else hope and courage to keep going.

When I first got sober, I was so afraid I would not even make it a week without using. But at my second AA meeting, a woman named Hope, received a 33 year medallion and it blew me away.

I was crying and said softly, "That's crazy. I'll probably never make it a week never mind a year." And several people around me who heard my despair reached out a hand and touched my back saying, "No worries! You don't have to make it a year or even a week! You just need to stay sober today. It's just one day at a time here."

Then Hope showed up.

I took it as a sign and I named by Guardian Angel, Hope. Hope gives me the courage to walk through anything and shows up in the most amazing ways.

You have so much experience and wisdom within you that you can use to help others. If you can give hope to someone, please reach out to them.

And if it's you who need help, please reach out to someone you trust. Find that courage! There is no need to deal with uncertainty and fear alone. Your vulnerability can be your strength.

I was glad to help Nightingale get through her first filling at the dentist. She was very brave!

Then we celebrated and I took her out to lunch because it's important to acknowledge each step taken towards overcoming fear, no matter how small.

Live courageously,

Maureen